Spirit of God, Our Comforter

Never a fan of Christian music, I nonetheless have several hymns on my MP3 player, scattered amidst the Led Zeppelin and Indigo Girls tracks. I suppose the hymns are fond reminders of my childhood, but they also stir disquieting memories of my least favorite seminary class.

Church Music was a requirement for all M.Div. students at Golden Gate, and the main purpose of the class was to teach prospective pastors how to lead the singing of a hymn. I, for one, could not imagine a more useless skill. Most Baptist churches sang the same two dozen hymns over and over again, so how much hand-waving was really required? Plus, wasn't that what the music minister was for?

Even so, we all dutifully learned about rhyme schemes, measures, and downbeats, and when the professor judged us sufficiently prepared, she passed out a list of hymn assignments for an in-class practice session. Scanning the paper, I could see right away that this woman had taken a fierce disliking to me. All the other students were assigned familiar numbers like Victory in Jesus that any self-respecting Baptist could sleepwalk through. Meanwhile, I was asked to lead Spirit of God, Our Comforter, the only hymn on the list I had never heard of.

I prepared as best I could, and when my turn to lead rolled around, I walked to the front of the classroom with sweaty palms. My fears were heightened by whispered comments that began floating up from my classmates as they flipped to the obscure hymn.

"Huh, I didn’t even know this one was in there."

"It looks kind of Presbyterian."

Once I began singing and waving my arms, the other students waited for those who knew the hymn to join in, unaware that such persons did not exist. Eventually, everyone took pity on me and tried to sing along as best they could, but my humiliation was already complete.

So while I love a good hymn to this day, you will never find Spirit of God, Our Comforter on my MP3.